I am not fine. I am flaring really badly and I feel awful. For the last few days I’ve been sleeping pretty much ‘round the clock, sometimes on the floor because it felt more comfortable than my bed. I’m back to the stage where I’m having falls ‘cause the joints in my legs won’t support me so in general, I am not fine!
Rather than going on about how not fine I am, I thought I’d follow my friend Mary’s suggestion and do a post of random stuff that has very little to do with autoimmune disorders and loosely connect it under the guise of ‘laughter is the best medicine.’
Mainly this is just going to be some lists of things that I think are funny. You may or may not find them funny also.
Weirdest Compliments I’ve Received
“You have eyes the colour of blue M&M’s”
From: A girl at school.
My reaction: I think I laughed at the time. Now every time I look at M&M’s I think of eyeballs.
“I like your necklace and I like your bust.”
From: A friend of a friend who I was having dinner with.
My reaction: At first I thought I’d misheard her, then I thought maybe it was a lost in translation situation as English was her second language, but no, that is what she meant. She went on to tell me why she liked my bust and that she wished she had a bust like mine. At that point I wished I had worn a less revealing top. I also think it’s funny that she tacked “I like your necklace” on the front of that.
“You look like the Virgin Mary”
From: Random drunk guy.
My reaction: To be fair, I was handing out promotional stuff for a Fringe play that had a picture of the Virgin Mary on it and he was really drunk, so I suppose it wasn’t that weird…
“I like your dancer’s calf muscles.”
From: Guy in my class at drama school
My reaction: What strikes me as weirdest about this, is I can’t remember why he was holding my calf muscle in the first place. I suspect it was some weird drama game that I’ve blocked out. Anyway, he decided I had the calf muscles of a dancer. It’s a pity that’s about all I’ve got of a dancer in me.
Misheard Song Lyrics
Song: Matchbox 20, ‘Disease’
Real lyric: ‘All my life, oh, was magic’
What I hear: ‘All my life the phone was magic’
Thoughts: I made up this whole story in my head about how he’d always loved talking on the phone to this girl until they broke up and had lots of arguments over it. I thought it was some kind of phone phobia reference. Clearly I have an active imagination.
Song: Eskimo Joe, ‘Black fingernails, red wine.’
Real lyric: ‘All of us stand and point our fingers’
What I hear: ‘I don’t understand the point of fingers.’
Thoughts: It amuses me greatly that I thought this made sense. Personally I think my version is more interesting.
Song: Bush, ‘Little things’
Real lyric: ‘It’s the little things that kill, tearing at my brain again.’
What I hear: ‘It’s the little pink pill, tearing at my brain again.’
Thoughts: I really thought this song was about antidepressants. It kind of disappoints me that it’s not.
Song: Alanis Morisette, ‘Princes Familiar’
Real lyric: ‘Please be philosophical’
What I hear: ‘Please be ever so fickle’
Song: Alanis Morisette, ‘8 easy steps.’
Real lyric: ‘I’ll show you how leadership looks, when taught by the best.’
What I hear: ‘I’ll show you how widdershins looks when taught by the best.’
Thoughts: I put these both down to the fact that Alanis takes forever to get a syllable out. It did intrigue me as to how you could teach widdershins as I’m pretty sure it means anticlockwise.
Weirdest thing I've found I’d written in my beside the bed notebook
"He smiled, exposing wisdom and teeth."
I’m pretty sure I thought that was brilliant at 3 in the morning. Not so much when I read it again when I woke up.
OK, so that one is not really a list but I thought this post was getting a bit long.
Check out Mary’s blog for her lists:
Yay! Shameless friend promotion!
Anyway, hopefully I'll be inspired to write something more autoimmune related soon.
Little Miss Autoimmune