The other day, a couple of ladies came to my door to talk to me about the bible. I’m not really religious, but nor am I not religious, if that makes sense. I talked to them for a little while, all the while feeling excruciatingly embarrassed that I was answering my door in my nightclothes.
At some point during the conversation, I mentioned that I had lupus (probably to explain why I was walking with a crutch, and still in a nightie at midday.) They began talking about suffering, and I said that I didn’t believe you’re given more than you can handle. This was apparently a point of contention, as they immediately began to assure me that God didn’t hand out suffering, the Devil did. The Devil had given me lupus.
I really didn’t know what to say at this point. Part of me wanted to laugh at the image of a red, cloven hoofed Devil going around handing out lupus.
I understand what they were trying to say, but I really didn’t agree with it. I don’t like the idea, that sickness or any kind of suffering is a punishment, or that it is in any way evil. Sure, it can feel evil, but as far as I’m concerned it’s just something that is. Putting a judgement like that on it – thinking of it as a punishment, or as evil, just makes the experience even worse. Sickness etc. is bad enough by itself without adding to it.
I have some amazing people in my life. Many of them have illnesses of some sort – this is not why they’re in my life. Some of them are family members, or people I went to school with. Others I’ve worked with, either in the past or currently. Some I’ve met through support groups, online or in real life. All of them are amazing.
When I said to the ladies at my door, that I don’t believe you’re given more than you can handle, it’s because I look at the people in my life and the ones who have been through the most crap are with out a doubt the strongest of the people I know. I don’t know if they’re strong because they’ve had to be, or if they were always strong and it’s just more visible because they handle the things life throws at them with grace and humour. I suspect that they were always strong. And always amazing.
This is my friend Tessa’s blog. She’s been going through a tough time, with some serious illness this year. She is, without a doubt, one of my strong and amazing friends, but even my strong and amazing friends get down sometimes. So, if you’d like, maybe check out her blog and send some love and positive vibes her way. I’m sure she’d appreciate it.
- Little Miss Autoimmune.