The other day, I found
myself describing depression as being like the noise an air conditioner makes. The
sound is always there, but much of the time you can tune it out. It becomes a background
fixture of the environment, that you give little or no attention to. But then
there are days where the noise draws your focus – perhaps because you got less
sleep, or you’re stressed – and suddenly that noise you are normally able to
tune out seems a whole lot louder. It breaks into your thoughts and interrupts
your concentration, but you’re still able to function, and with
some time, you’ll go back to filtering the sound out again. And then there are
days when it’s all your can hear. You wonder how you ever did anything other
than listen to that drone. It becomes all-consuming and thinking of anything
else – doing anything else – becomes impossible. The sound become your life for
a while, until you’re able to get back on top of things.
I realised later that
the same could be said of anxiety, chronic pain, and other physical health
problems. In fact, when I’m very anxious, I do sometimes experience it as a roaring
sound in my head.
In my last post, I
talked about how movement has helped me in getting myself back on track after a
not so great period with my health. One of the other things that has helped a
lot has been making a point to spend time being mindfully creative. I’m lucky
enough to have a job which is creatively based, and I am very thankful for
that, but it does mean that sometimes projects slip from being an enjoyable
creative practice, to a stressful, time-pressured work one. Even outside of
work, many of my creative projects this year have been very goal/completion
focused, such as making weighted blankets as part of my Assistance Dog NZ
fundraising. This focus on the final product, rather than the creative journey,
has often meant I find myself “making on auto-pilot”, which goes against the
important mindful aspect.
Spending time doing
creative activities purely for the fun of them – playing and
experimenting with no pressure to make something useful or “good” - means that my
focus is only on the process. It pulls away from that air conditioning noise,
and into the present moment. I find when I am able to make time for that playful
creativity, within a few minutes my breathing is slowing, my muscles relaxing,
and the roaring in my head quieting. Allowing myself that time really makes a
big difference in getting myself back to a good place. Traditional mindfulness
has never really worked for me, despite putting in a lot of time trying over
the years, but there’s something about “mindful making” that helps the process
for me.
Of course, when you’re
stressed, it’s difficult to find time for creativity, and thinking of projects
can feel intimidating. But creativity doesn’t have to mean a huge procedure.
Here are a few of the ways I found to be creative over the last couple of months. Whatever method
it is you use, I can really recommend using mindful creativity as a way to
manage health stuff.
Making a different meal/baking
a new recipe
Sometimes something as
simple as making a meal or baking can be a great way to add creativity to your
life. With food allergies, I find myself making the same things over and over.
Taking the time to find new recipes – even if they’re comprised of many of the
same ingredients – can be an enjoyable and relaxing way to spend an evening.
Knitting groups
I went to a couple of
different knitting groups over the last couple of months. Both were free, and
one of them offered lessons as well. I wasn’t doing anything particularly
impressive – I’ve just been making peggy squares out of the ends of balls of
wool. I may stitch them into a blanket at some point, or they may just be left
as is. Either way the process was calming.
Workshops
Here in Wellington,
there are often a range of different workshops you can attend. Many of them are
free/koha entry. I attended a koha candle making workshop with a friend, which
was a lovely way to spend an afternoon. The candles were very simple to make, but ended up looking quite impressive.
Rearranging/redecorating
If the budget is low,
finding ways to be creative can be a bit harder, but sometimes just rearranging
furniture, reordering books/other items on a shelf or decorating something with
scrap materials can be a cost-free way to be mindful. I ended up decorating a
shelf with pictures of butterflies I cut from an empty tissue box. The end effect was quite striking, even though it came from rubbish materials. Scrap booking, collage or papier-mache all make great use of free waste materials.
Paintvine/painting/colouring
in
Paintvine was the most
expensive of my projects over the last couple of months. This is an evening,
where you complete a guided painting with a group while drinking wine. I’ve
done a couple of these now, and I really enjoyed the experience. I’ve heard
some cities have similar groups such as group paint by numbers, and Bob Ross
evenings. I found this particularly effective, as I had to concentrate so hard
on the painting, I didn't have any mental space for intrusive thoughts. Regular painting, or colouring in would also be effective for this.
Wellington
Conversations/Creative Events
Not strictly a
creative practice, but one of the other very helpful things I did was attend an
up-cycled fashion show, from Vinnies Re Sew and attend a Wellington Conversations event on the topic
of “What is beautiful here?” Both left me feeling creatively inspired and
uplifted. Wellington Conversations will be continuing in the new year, and I’d
really recommend heading along for a dose of community and connection if you
get the chance.
Thanks for reading,
Little Miss Autoimmune
Little Miss Autoimmune
